Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
