I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
