someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
