Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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