I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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