dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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