I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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