I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
