gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Dignity is for republicans.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
