dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
