How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
