This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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