I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
