They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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