You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
