Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
