I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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