The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
