idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize