Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
