As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
