You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
