OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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