I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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