I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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