I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize