Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
