yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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