Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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