I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
