hell yes lets make some ravioli
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
