i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
