you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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