Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
