Im at strip club and am horny
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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