someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
