she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Damn victory sex feels great
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
