I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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