I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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