So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
