i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Randomize
