Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
