I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
