let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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