Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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