Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
