we have pet lesbian snakes
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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