I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize