Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
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