Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
