One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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