p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
