please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
