wrigley field is MILF paradise
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
