Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
