you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
