Porn is love you can see.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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