doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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