yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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