people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
