soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
