ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize