I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm like, not good at living.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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