If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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