Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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